Crossing Flatbush Avenue by C. H.

Project: Interview with Ms. Norma E. Lovelace.

Today I’m taking a stroll along Church Avenue, East 46th. Street. This is a part of East Flatbush. I’m going to visit and talk with someone who has befriended me since I came to this country.

My interviewee began her story like this. “Many times people talked about coming to America when you are from the “Islands” and that America will solve all your problems, but we have a saying in my home country, “See me and live with me ah two different things.”

I am originally from St. Vincent and the Grenadines, and I have lived in the United States for the past twenty-one years. Most of my family members are living in Florida; only two of my daughters are still living in St. Vincent.

When I came to this country I worked in different homes as a house keeper, then my eldest daughter encouraged me to go back to school and study for the Home Health Aide, after I passed the exam I stopped housekeeping and started to work with an Agency to take care of elderly patients. I did this until I retired in 2006. Now I’m retired, I spend most of my time travelling to Florida where I can be with my children and see my grand children, I also knit, I knit scarves, bedspreads and skirts for my family members and friends.

Every time anyone asks me the question why I came to America, I can only say that I was in search of a better life. I wanted to get away from my abusive husband and being a business person who owned a restaurant, I thought that business was becoming very slow because too many restaurants were being opened. I expected to find a good job in a home when I came here, because I pride myself on being a good cook. I also thought that people would be more helpful and generous.

People from my country who came here before, when they came back home painted a picture of the U.S. people being very accommodating to people who were in need. That was far off by a long margin. My life turned out to be just what I made of it. I learned fast that you have to learn to depend on yourself and don’t look to anyone for help. She then interjected another saying, “God helps those who help themselves.” She said that this was always her motto. Sometimes even my sister will tell me in the early days that she could not see the reason for me to give up my business and house at home and come here to struggle. I told her that life is a struggle and that I was not doing it for myself but for my children so they can have a better life than what I had.

My lifestyle has changed to a certain degree. I’m not that naïve; I don’t take things for granted as I used to do. I ask questions and I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe. I also don’t trust people as easy like before. Since I live here, sometimes I become very nostalgic about my home country, especially around Christmas time, that was such a lovely time home, with all the family coming together, the Nine Mornings of caroling which is uniquely Vincentian, that’s the time I miss most. I tried not to think of the unhappy times, I’m just thankful to God that he has spared my life to see my grandchildren.

I’m a U.S. citizen. I became a U.S. Citizen because I regard this country as my home now. Becoming a citizen has helped me to get my children here so that they can continue to pursue their education. I see myself as an American; I have the privilege to speak my mind against anything that I deemed unfair. This country has helped me to get away from my husband who was very abusive.

I have never had any problem with immigration since I’m in this country. The only problem was when I went to Barbados to do my processing for U.S. residency, then I was told they could not process me without my husband consent, can you believe that, after all those years, I had filed for divorce, thought I got rid of the man and now I had to get a judge to write an official letter stating that I was divorce because he did not sign the divorce paper. That was a shock to me because I thought that it was over and done with.

I do keep in touch with my two daughters that are home, and every other year I go home and visit with them. My last daughter, she is the Chief Veterinary Surgeon at home, and my other daughter is a teacher. I would like to go back later in my life if it’s God’s Will. To spend my last days just puttering in my garden or sitting on the veranda just listening to the sound of the ocean.

I ended the interview by asking her what kind of advice she gives her children. She smiled and said, “You know these young people, they don’t really like to take advice, but I tell mine to live every day as if it’s their last one, help everyone who come to you for help because you never know it may an angel you are helping, and also go to school and get a good education because that’s the only how you will get out in life.” She also gave me that as my advice.